Money is one of the issues that can cause problems in marriage. Individuals vary in their attitude towards money, this may have a bearing on how they were brought up and their social situation. A conflict is bound to arise when two people with different outlooks and attitude to money are brought together. Money management is not taught in schools and we grow up observing what our parents do, though this may be modified by individual personalities, education and other circumstances in later life.
The issue should not cause a problem in marriage if taken in three stages
- Everyone should have basic money management education in school and at home. The principle of income and expenditure and savings. The principles of the essentials/needs vs wants and prioritising.
- Every one should aim at becoming a good money manager and have the right attitude and mindset towards money, before getting married.
- At dating and courtship. Observing attitude and mindset towards money is a must observation. Testers, discussions and scenarios should be made. Serious open discussions should start when people become engaged. Aspirations and future plans should be discussed. It is the time to start changing mindset and attitude from my money to ‘our money’ and to start cultivating the attitude of joint responsibilities and joint spending discussions.
- Early on in the marriage journey couples should build on the principles of total communication and open income declaration and have a plan for, joint responsibilities and plans for the future.
The services of a financial adviser is advised as the short ,medium and long term financial plans could be put in place. Individual circumstances vary and couples should decide and do what they are happy with.
Bank accounts. Some are happy with joint accounts and joint discussions about how to run the account. Some have a joint account into which salaries are paid and individual accounts into which an agreed fraction is paid monthly by direct debit. What ever decision is agreed, there must be a discussion about how the moneys are spent. Remember situations are not always static and may change, hence there may be reviews of situation e.g loss of employment by a partner, or what happens to bonuses and overtime work.